Nothing signals the start of a new Premier League football season than picking your own fantasy football team.
Regardless of where you enter your team and select your players, the first thing you need to do is pick a team name and stick with it.
From the old school classics like Bolton Squanderers and Port Fail to the quirky modern day titles like The Neville Wears Prada and Murder On Zidane’s Floor, picking a team name is more important than ever.
After recently putting together our list of funny gamer names, we’ve put our heads together once again and picked out some of our favorites for fantasy football, which will hopefully give you some inspiration for your next team name.
To help you along, we’ve even split them into different categories, starting with those that link to players and managers.
Current Player-Puns
We all have our favorite players, and some of us have those ones that we love to hate. What better way to take the mick out of them, than by a play on words in your team name:
- Chicken Tikka Mo Salah
- It Just Got Messi
- About to get Messi
- Ronaldoughnuts
- Only put Matip in
- Teenage Mutant Ninja Skrtels
- Benteke Fried Chicken
- Moves Like Jagger
- Agger Diouf Diouf Diouf
- One Flew Over Lukaku’s Nest
- Double Pogba and Koke
- Who ate all Depays
- Walking in Memphis Depay
- Depay in the Sky
- How I Met Your Mata
- Hakuna Juan Mata
- Willian Dollar Baby
- Cahills have eyes
- Ospina Colada
- If You Like Ospina Coladas
- Schezney Hawkes
- Sanchez-ny Hawkes
- Chamakh My Pitch Up
- Beat Around Debuchy
- Blame it on Debuchy
- Khedira Pin Drop
- Dembele Galaxy
- Baines on Toast
- Delph & Safety
- Lads on Toure
- Nice to Michu
- Michu at De Gea Ba
- Klopp Outs
- Kindergarten Klopp
- Klopp goes the Weasel
- Klopps and Robbers
- Two Girls One Klopp
- Lock Stock and Two Smoking Carrolls
- Boom Shake Shake De Roon
- Slumdog Mignolet
- Who wants to be a Mignolet
- Absolutely Fabregas
- Cesc in the city
- I’m Lovin it
- Dzeko and the Bunnymen
- Xhaka Khan
- Sterling Silva
- Chiellini Con Carne
- Balotellitubbies
- Crouch Potato
- 50 Shades of O’Shea
- It’s All Gone Shane Long
- Out on Bale
- Released on Bale
- My Little Bony
- Hung like a Bony
- One-trick-Bony’s
- Tea and Busquets
- #YOLO Toure
- Bendtner Over
- Dukes of Hazard
- Hazard Warning Lights
- Rolls Reus
- Egg-fried Reus
- Reus’ Pieces
- Chubby Alonsos
- Diego Costa Coffee
- Costa Fortune
- Krul Runnings
- Only Kruls and Horses
- Krul to be Kind
- Krul and the Gang
- No Woman No Cry
- Law abiding Sigurddsons
- Gylfi Pleasures
- An inconvenient Huth
- You can’t handle the Huth
- Super Nani (After TV show ‘Super Nanny’)
- Ozil Gummidge (After English TV show ‘Worzil Gummidge’)
- KROOSing for a Bruising / Kroos control
- Every day I’m Schneiderlin
- Every day I’m Bellerin
- Every day I’m Coquelin
- Red bull gives you Frings
- Red bull gives you Ings
- Lord of the Ings
- Wanyama’s In Pajamas
- I Want ya Ma
- Klose but no Cigar
- Harry Kane Fly
- Too Close for Comfort
- Robben me Blind
- LamborDeeney
- Deeney in a Bottle
- Sanogo On A Pogo
- Giroud Let The Dogs Out
- Men Behaving Chadli
- How about Zlat?
- Pique boo
- Pique Blinders
- Fun Lovren Criminals
- We Arbeloa lot of teams
- Juan on Juan
- 2 girls 1 Schlupp
- De Jong boys
- Pepe pig
- Pique and De Bruyne
- Clyne Kampf
- Whose Clyne is it anyway?
- Neuer Gonna Give You up
- Game of Stones
- Lallanas in Pyjamas
- Bad Kompany
- Pep Lardiola
Retired Player-Puns
It’s not just our current heroes who get the Fantasy Football treatment, so of those icons from yesteryear can work just as well.
- Murder On Zidane’s Floor
- I bet you’d look good on Zidane’s Floor
- Petr Cech Yourself
- Maradona Kebab
- The Neville wears Prada
- Puyol Pants Down FC
- Haven’t Got a Kalou
- The Vaz Te after tomorrow
- Andy Gray’s Anatomy
- Finding Mido
- Inglorious Basturks
- Dude where’s my Kahn
- The Odem Chickenwingies
- Phantom of the Chopra
- Ji Sung Park the Bus
- The Passion of the Cruyff
- Rigobert’s Thong
- Debbie does Gallas
- Le Saux Solid Crew
- Get Defoe kuyt
- Ruud Van Nipplejoy
- Jurgen’s Binman (Jürgen Klinsmann)
- Kenny Jacket Potato
- Wright Men Can’t Jump
- Keane learners
- Lahmageddon
- Silence of the Lahms
- Mark-o Pirlo
- Get Defoe Kuyt
- Insert Joe Kinnear
- Jimmyfloydbottlebaink
- Blink 1 Eto’o
- VazTe-Sectomy
- We Arbeloa Lot of Teams
- Making Emile of it
- Xavi Dodgers
- Mirror Signal Malouda
- Alice in Hangeland
- Sex, Drugs and Carlton Cole
- Chocolate Ba’s & Corn Eto’o
- So Solid Carew
- Don’t look Bacary Sagna / Bacary Lasagna / Daiquiri Sagna
- Rodallega Bombs
- Agger Diouf Diouf Diouf
- Eric Bantona
- Titus Shambles
- HuttonDressedAsLahm
- One Size Fitz Hall
Team Names Based on English Clubs
Whether you’re a fan of a United, Town or City, you’re sure to find something in amongst this lot. We’ve even put the real team in brackets to help you out:
- Arse ‘n’ all (Arsenal)
- Aston Filla (Aston Villa)
- Aston Vanilla (Aston Villa)
- AFC Pornmouth (AFC Bournemouth)
- Bolton Squanderers (Bolton Wanderers)
- Brighton & Hoe Albion (Brighton & Hove Albion)
- Crystal Phallus (Crystal Palace)
- Whateverton (Everton)
- Exeter Gently (Exeter City)
- Moleicester City (Leicester City)
- Liquor Pool FC (Liverpool)
- Man Titty (Manchester City – “Man City”)
- Bantchester United (Manchester United)
- Man-Chest-Hair United (Manchester United)
- MK Dongs (MK Dons)
- Notts Florist (Notts Forest / Nottingham Forest)
- Old’em Pathetic (Oldham Athletic)
- Old ‘n’ Pathetic (Oldham Athletic)
- Oldman Arthritic (Oldham Athletic)
- Texas Oldham (Oldham Athletic)
- Port Fail (Port Vale)
- Queens Park Strangers (Queens Park Rangers)
- Seshfield Wednesday (Sheffield Wednesday)
- Stroke Titty (Stoke City)
- If it ain’t Stoke, don’t fix it (Stoke City)
- Blunderland (Sunderland)
- Not so Hotspur (Tottenham Hotspur)
- Breast Rummage Albion (West Bromwich Albion)
- West Ham Sandwich (West Ham)
- Dances with Wolves (Wolverhampton Wanderers)
- Woefulhampton (Wolverhampton Wanderers)
- KFC Wimbledon (Wimbledon)
Team Names Based on Italian Teams
For the 80’s and 90’s kids, Italian football holds a special place in their hearts and there’s no better way to honor those football gods than with these team names:
- AC A Little Silhouette Of Milan AC Milan)
- AC Me Rollin’ AC Milan)
- AC Dead People (AC Milan)
- Fiorentina Turner (Fiorentina)
- Genoa-cide (Genoa)
- Enter ‘Me Lamb (Inter Milan)
- Inter Thepub (Inter Milan)
- Inter M’Nandos (Inter Milan)
- Inter Your Nan (Inter Milan)
- Inter Ya Gran (Inter Milan)
- Inter M’Ladies FC (Inter Milan)
- Inter Bread (Inter Milan)
- Inter Row Z (Inter Milan)
- Inter Milan-Drover (Inter Milan)
- Pooventus (Juventus)
- Fatzio (Lazio)
- Ladzio (Lazio)
- Crapoli (Napoli)
- Romasexuals (Roma)
Team Names Based on Spanish
There has been nothing sexier than Spanish football over the past decade with the likes of Messi, Ronaldo, Neymar and Suarez all plying their trade in La Liga.
With our team names just as good, here’s our best that link to Spanish clubs:
- Pathetico Madrid (Atletico Madrid)
- Athletico Pathetico (Atletico Madrid)
- Athletico Madras (Atletico Madrid)
- Sweaty-co Madrid (Atletico Madrid)
- Athletic Bilbao Baggins (Athletic Bilbao)
- Beercelona (Barcelona)
- Barcaloners (Barcelona)
- Farcelona (Barcelona)
- Banterlona (Barcelona)
- Barca Bone Her (Barcelona)
- Leave our Arse Alona (Barcelona)
- Deportivo La Catalent (Deportivo de La Coruña)
- No Hablo Espanyol (Espanyol)
- Colonel Getafe (Getafe)
- Osasuna Or Later (Osasuna)
- Unreal Madrid (Real Madrid)
- The other Madrid (Real Madrid)
- Fake Madrid (Real Madrid)
- Real Madras (Real Madrid)
- Real Ale Madrid (Real Madrid)
- Real Madreadful (Real Madrid)
- Real Sosobad (Real Sociedad)
- Real Sociopaths (Real Sociedad)
- Real Social Lad (Real Sociedad)
- Sevilla Lacatalent (Sevilla FC)
- Sevilla Constipation (Sevilla FC)
Football Betting
When you’ve decided on your team name, it’s then on to picking your players and watching them perform in order to pick up points.
Why not bet on the players that are in your score?
From scoring the first goal to scoring the last, or even scoring from the penalty spot, they’ll all get you points on Fantasy Premier League at Paddy Power, but if you actually place a bet on them, then it could be cash and not points that you are picking up.
All sports bookmakers will have odds available on all the Premier League matches throughout the season, as well as in-play odds on the outright markets such as the league winner and top goal scorer.
