We lost another one, RIP Operational

Tarkus

Tank
Joined
Aug 5, 2003
Messages
1,321
Reaction score
0
Jesus.. I remember him posting around here. I can't say I knew him at all, but it still leaves me thinking about what he must have been going through to end like that.. At least he's having his rest. rip
 
Joined
May 28, 2009
Messages
522
Reaction score
0
It saddens me greatly hearing about this even though I never knew him very well. I hope I will not have to hear about anything like this again any time soon. He will be missed by many. Rip
 

hool10

Tank
Joined
Jun 20, 2004
Messages
4,829
Reaction score
6
Just found out about this, damn. I never talked to him on Steam but as a long time member here, I saw a lot of his posts. I remember bvgasm with the cute dancing cow and now Operational. RIP bro. ;(
 

Raziaar

I Hate Custom Titles
Joined
Sep 13, 2003
Messages
29,758
Reaction score
132
Just found out about this, damn. I never talked to him on Steam but as a long time member here, I saw a lot of his posts. I remember bvgasm with the cute dancing cow and now Operational. RIP bro. ;(
bvgasm did not have the dancing cow avatar. That is me, and I am still with us. He had a black mesa avatar, at least for part of the time.
 

Acepilotf14

Sucked so much dick for this title
Joined
Aug 29, 2006
Messages
13,011
Reaction score
46
Whoa whoa whoa, how did I miss this.

This just ****ing sucks.

Good Starcraft games with him..man.
 
Joined
Jan 27, 2006
Messages
3,719
Reaction score
4
How the hell did I miss this?! RIP Man :( I never knew him too well, but I know he was a great guy.
 

Reginald

Newbie
Joined
Dec 8, 2004
Messages
6,060
Reaction score
0
Ah jeez, come back here for the first time in a few months and this is the first piece of news I see. Seriously saddening, I always found him to be one of the better members of the community and I enjoyed the handful of chats I had with him on Steam Chat and the like.

This sucks. My thoughts are with his family but also with his friends, both virtual and in real life.
 

Ennui

The Freeman
Joined
Dec 31, 2003
Messages
22,704
Reaction score
112
Il stick to this forum till the day that i die. I wonder which one of us will live the longest.
Probably the God of Irony will intervene, and Stern will outlive us all. In the end, he'll be posting here all alone, but won't even realize it because he'll be so senile and mentally decrepit.
 

CptStern

suckmonkey
Joined
May 5, 2004
Messages
10,321
Reaction score
62
Probably the God of Irony will intervene, and Stern will outlive us all. In the end, he'll be posting here all alone, but won't even realize it because he'll be so senile and mentally decrepit.
that's pretty much what's happening atm anyways ...except I'm not decrepit
 
Joined
Feb 26, 2007
Messages
1,520
Reaction score
1
Wow, I came back a few days ago and have been lurking since, but I haven't noticed this till now. That really is sad, I genuinely liked Operational, though I never knew him closely.
 

Jintor

Didn't Get Temp-Banned
Joined
Dec 15, 2004
Messages
14,783
Reaction score
14
Man, no way. Same story here. RIP Operational, you will be missed.
 

Kadayi

Newbie
Joined
Oct 6, 2003
Messages
6,035
Reaction score
0
Having absented from hl2.net for the better part of a year, I come to this tragic news afresh.

I won't claim a close gaming relationship with Operational (we were separated by continents and time zones to a degree to make gaming together a near impossibility), however in the spirit of gamers we did come together during one Steam Christmas sale (2008 iirc) with me gifting him the Rockstar games pack (GTA1 -3 & Max Payne games) to bypass the god awful issues of Australian censorship he faced.

I hadn't thought through what I wanted in exchange and initially opted for Company of Heroes, however the game wasn't Steam available in Aus, so we went through the available list through chat and eventually I settled on Hitman:Blood Money upon his recommendation, although at the time I wasn't overly sure whether I'd enjoy it (previous experience of a demo of one of the earlier titles had left me unimpressed it has to be said). However I must say I really got into it, and it actually turned me back onto 3rd person games again. Which resulted in much further purchasing of assorted 3rd person titles since (The tomb raiders, Splinter Cells, Prince of Persias and Assassins creeds).

Albeit our exchanges were limited afterwards (the occasional chat now and then on Steam), I hope that he gained some pleasure from the GTA games, and enjoyed giving the Aus government the FU they so richly deserve. Operational you shall be missed, and you've left me both richer (in terms of games experienced) and (financially) poorer (as my games collection has ballooned to enormo proportions) over that simple little Christmas exchange.

Kad
 

Ennui

The Freeman
Joined
Dec 31, 2003
Messages
22,704
Reaction score
112
Time to unsticky this. No responses in almost 4 years. RIP Operational (Operational Square in the 2nd HL2net Minecraft server will always remember you) but the past is the past.
 

Sulkdodds

Companion Cube
Joined
Jul 3, 2003
Messages
18,851
Reaction score
25
In case this drops down the page - although looking at the state of activity here, that might not be for years - a quick note.

I read this again today because I got an email about it. It was maybe about a 5% chance I actually read the email. But I did read the email and I did click the link and I did go, shit, I remember this, and read about it again.

here's what really punched me in the gut:

A few months ago, he removed all friends from his Steam friends list, changed his name to Unnamed and removed his avatar, although I still managed to find his account because his SteamID had remained the same as it was before.
This is exactly what I did several times over the last couple of years during periods where I was most depressed and suicidal. Cutting off contact, replacing your Facebook picture with an image of TV static, whatever it might be - there is this urge to just erase yourself, to take yourself out of social networks, to wipe yourself away.

And that same urge means that if you see someone doing that and you contact them and say, hey, are you okay, they might not respond to you and might not wish to acknowledge a social connection with anyone whatsoever. But the only reason I am posting here is because sometimes they will, and sometimes it will matter, and sometimes lives get saved by very small things. And I would just urge you to reach out where you can, if you can, when you can, because it might be important.

peace
 

taviow

Tank
Joined
Feb 18, 2007
Messages
3,171
Reaction score
8
Hey guys,

I just happened to return here today, since I suddenly started thinking about Op again, as it happens every once in a while, and by luck I got the chance to read your advice. Thank you for your words.

I've been through a lot in the past few years. Switched to a different school, found new IRL friends who I love so much and I'm intimate with in a way I had never been with friends before, joined a band, decided to take my life in an entirely different direction from the one I was it taking before. It has been insane and I'll always be grateful for that.

The changes I went through at times proved to be too much for me to deal with, as I felt the need to step away from some parts of my life in order to handle it all, like I did from these forums. Funny how I thought I'd absolutely never leave when I made this thread 4 years ago. Life just never ceases to surprise me.

One thing that I felt back then that remains true today is that I read these posts you guys make and I still do care about you all. I also still remember and care deeply about Op. I think about these forums sometimes, and I fondly remember all of you. Thanks again for everything.

I'm also thankful to say that, even though I only read them today, in a way I've managed to take Sulk's words to heart these past 4 years. Op's death had a deep effect on me that I still feel today, and I believe I always will. I attempted to turn these feelings into something positive, into caring about people and how they're feeling. I talk to them and try to help them. If they're in pain, I find myself feeling their pain, and I just have to help them however I can. Sometimes it doesn't work, sometimes I'm unable to help, but thankfully there were times I succeeded. Nothing makes me feel better.

I wish I had this mindset back then. I talked to Steven just about every day, and I still find myself wondering what I could've done differently. I realize it's pointless now, but it's something that's hard for me to let go of. All that I can say is that at least today I have the courage to help someone who's in pain, the will to face it together, instead of running away or ignoring it as I once did. It feels strange, but I find myself caring deeply about people, be them friends, family or even strangers, when I once honestly cared nothing, about anyone.

It's been a crazy and confusing ride, and I want to thank you all once more for everything. You guys remain in my heart, although I'm not very much present here anymore. Maybe I'll come over and post sometimes.

See you guys.
 

Raziaar

I Hate Custom Titles
Joined
Sep 13, 2003
Messages
29,758
Reaction score
132
Sad to see this thread get unstickied.

As weird as it may still seem, I still think about bvasgm and operational on a near daily basis, and get emotional when I think about them. I didn't know them as well as I would have liked, but they were friends in this group of friends we had here and it's painful to have them gone. Part of what hit me so hard I think is how young they were, and the two very different, frightening ways that they left us.

As someone who lost his uncle to suicide nearly two years ago, and his father from awfully tragic brain cancer just five months ago, I take solace in the fact that if I can't stop thinking about these two forum members who died so many years ago, I can't imagine ever going a day forgetting about or losing touch with how I felt about my dad, uncle or any other loved ones I lose along the way.
 

Ennui

The Freeman
Joined
Dec 31, 2003
Messages
22,704
Reaction score
112
I didn't know Operational very well outside of the forum (we were Steam friends but didn't really interact a ton outside of HL2net)... but I was pretty good friends with bvasgm and I still think about him a lot. His birthday was 2 days away from mine and we'd always wish each other happy birthday so I always think about it in mid-April especially. Mostly about how completely unfair it is that I'm 26 and living my life while he died in a stupid freak accident (got hit by a car) when he was a freshman in university 8 years ago and never got a chance to go further.

I've lost people IRL too (I'm sure some of you remember when I posted about my mom passing away back in 2008) and the common theme is just to be thankful for who you have right now and make the best out of the time you have with other people, because you don't know when that chance might randomly disappear.
 

MFL

AlbatrossofTime
Joined
Apr 29, 2004
Messages
1,256
Reaction score
296

The more people I lose, the more this songs comes bittersweet. When the year turns over again this time next, or whenever this song plays, raise your cup of kindness for auld lang syne.
 

Tollbooth Willie

The Freeman
Joined
Jul 27, 2005
Messages
17,541
Reaction score
809
I didn't know Operational very well outside of the forum (we were Steam friends but didn't really interact a ton outside of HL2net)... but I was pretty good friends with bvasgm and I still think about him a lot. His birthday was 2 days away from mine and we'd always wish each other happy birthday so I always think about it in mid-April especially. Mostly about how completely unfair it is that I'm 26 and living my life while he died in a stupid freak accident (got hit by a car) when he was a freshman in university 8 years ago and never got a chance to go further.

I've lost people IRL too (I'm sure some of you remember when I posted about my mom passing away back in 2008) and the common theme is just to be thankful for who you have right now and make the best out of the time you have with other people, because you don't know when that chance might randomly disappear.
holy **** I forgot about that. I see Nick's family post to his page sometimes, tho. It burned being a newbie looking up to an amazing vet like him previously. Can't imagine what a personal friendship loss was like. I love you, Chris.
 
Top