We lost another one, RIP Operational

taviow

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Op didn't post here much, but we used to talk a lot, nearly every day for the past 2 years, ever since we played Starcraft together for the first time. He was a real friend to me, and I always looked forward to another talk with him. He was really enthusiastic when it came to talking about his favorite subjects such as TF2, Starcraft, Lost, Farscape, Babylon 5. The conversation would NEVER end if you brought that up when you were talking with him.

Anyways, he didn't login to Steam or hl2.net for a few weeks. I just assumed he was too busy with uni or whatever to get online, even though I knew in the back of my mind what had happened, because it had happened before. A few months ago, he removed all friends from his Steam friends list, changed his name to Unnamed and removed his avatar, although I still managed to find his account because his SteamID had remained the same as it was before.

I sent him a few PMs, left a comment in his profile, and waited for him to show up. He eventually did, about 2 weeks later. He replied to my PM saying that he was in the hospital, and that he didn't want to explain it through PM, he wanted to tell me what happened on Steam. So I waited 2 more weeks, and he came back online. He then confessed to me he had made a suicide attempt and failed. We talked about it, told him that I had found him through his SteamID, and he seemed to have realized that there were indeed so many people around him who truly cared about him, and I told him I was one of them. He said he was fine, and that he wouldn't try it again.

Last month, though, the same thing happened. He removed me from his friends list, and I assume he also removed everyone else, and it seems he also changed his SteamID this time. For a few more weeks I waited, before realizing that I should look him up and see what happened. I used the only info he ever gave me, he was an incredibly private person who was almost never willing to share details about his life, or about how he felt, with other people. You'd never know if he was fine or if he was depressed. However he did provide me with enough details for me to look him up and get confirmation of what had happened - that he had killed himself. It didn't take much, I knew his name was Steven Williams as we used to email each other sometimes. I also knew his home town - Menzies Creek, Victoria, Australia. So I googled his name and his location, and I found these posts, which confirmed what I had been thinking.

But still that wasn't enough for me, I wanted some real confirmation that he was dead (because perhaps there was another Steven Williams from Menzies Creek?) so I actually contacted that friend of his that posted twice about his death. We talked about him, about who he was, and I told him a few things I knew about him. He confirmed that Steven was indeed a very private person, and that his RL friends didn't really know that much about him either. I then finally got the confirmation that I needed: we were indeed talking about the same person. And then it hit me, Op is indeed dead.

He was a wonderful Starcraft player (one of the best noobs among us, a match for Cyberpitz), and we talked about SC2, and we were looking forward to playing it. He was looking forward to the SP campaign, too. It really saddens me that he'll never get to play it. At least we played the beta together a few times.

Anyways, that's all I have to say. If anything this post shows that I do care very much about you guys, so please don't go dying on me. I'll stalk the hell out of you if you disappear.

So guess what: you guys are meaningful to me. I do care about you. I was sad when bvgasm died without ever getting to know him. I never expected to care this much back when I started interacting with the community. I don't believe this place is a waste of time, I've learned so much here, and laughed so much and got to know so many wonderful people, I can't even consider leaving. I can only be thankful for having found this place, and for everything you guys have done for me since then.

Thank you all, for everything.

EDIT: I put the links back since the guy doesn't seem to mind them.
 

DEATHMASTER

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RIP Operational. I remember him posting around these parts. We are brothers (and sisters) here.
 

CyberPitz

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Holy god damn ****ing shit. I'm not even joking when I read this crying my eyes out. Op was a great friend online, and this just goes to show how close a community can come together, much like it did with borgasm.

Op, I was looking forward to you sparing with me in SC2...we would have made a great ****ing team. I hope you are happy where you are now. I know you wouldn't do this to yourself unless something was terrible for you in life. I love you man, and I seriously hope to see you again some day....
 

Vegeta897

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****, this is awful. I definitely remember him well, I even posted on his profile not too long ago.

:( :( :(

RIP
 

Danimal

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Shit sucks, I was just down in Victoria not too long ago for a funeral as well.

RIP Operational.
 

Matorbogl

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I may not have known him, but it is always tragic when a young person takes their own life. Rest in peace Operational.
 

Ennui

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Oh no! He last logged in a month ago :( 8 days before his funeral. He's been a regular for a long, long time, sad to see him go. I played one or two SC2 beta games with him and talked to him on Steam occasionally.

I'm going to miss his hypnotoad avatar too.

RIP Operational. Look at it this way, whereever he is, he's playing SC2 before all of us.
 

CyberPitz

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We were totally going to rape at SC2 together...it was our goal....FFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

*EDIT* E, you got a point. He's probably kicking every Korean's ass at SC2 right now. I just ****ing wish I could see him do it......I love you Op!!!!
 

Lucid

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Damn. :(
I remember playing a match or two with him, pitz, and tav and having a laugh at a replay in Starcraft.

God damn. ;(
 

taviow

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I won't. And I'm not changing my profile either. Starcraft profile by Operational, FOREVER.
 

Calhoun

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He is a part of the community that will be missed. One part that is able to stand out to me well from browsing during the past four years of his membership.

RIP Operational.
 

CyberPitz

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For anybody that has me on Facebook, I made a post about Op....go ahead and like it. You don't need to leave a comment.
 

taviow

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He wasn't one for drama, depression threads, or telling anyone about his condition in general. He was VERY introverted, VERY private, even on the internet. It seems to me he just wanted to disappear, and have everyone forget about him.

I remember his father died a few weeks after his first suicide attempt. I think his father's death is what set him downhill.
 

Mellish

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Very sad indeed. Definitely a member that stuck in my memory, especially from that avatar :). RIP man.
 

Sliver

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Holy Hell. I remember playing hours of StarCraft with him, Pitz and Tav. RIP Operational
 

taviow

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I genuinely thought he was alright the last few times I talked to him. He told me he had dreams of becoming a game designer, and I know that he was one hell of a programmer. He was a really bright person in general, and I think he would have gotten really far if he had chosen to pursue his career instead of this.

He really fooled me. That talk about his future and his dreams was one of the very last I had with him. Everything was alright and it seemed like just another day.
 

Warped

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Very sad to see another member gone. RIP sir and hopefully we'll see you in another life.
 

Adabiviak

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Sad, really. Kudos to Taivow for being a friend and following up.
 

Sedako

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Thanks for keeping us informed Tav, however difficult it may be. RIP Op, you'll always be remembered here.
 

Krynn72

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While I never talked to him on steam or ever got to really know him, I do remember liking him from his forum posts here. He seemed very intelligent and kind. This is very sad news. My condolences to all his friends and family.
 

Wanted Bob

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Its always sad to hear of another member's death, no matter who they are...

RIP Operational :(
 

T-6000

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Though I don't know the poster (I recently joined here myself and don't know too many here just yet) it still stinks that we lost him. And I'm sorry to hear about his dad passing away a few weeks before he did. I wouldn't be surprised to hear his mood going downhill since his father died, I too wouldn't feel the same if my dad passed away (even though he can get on my nerves at times). I can't begin to imagine what his family is going through, having to loose 2 members in such a short time. Life can be cruel sometimes.
 

Warped

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While I never talked to him on steam or ever got to really know him, I do remember liking him from his forum posts here. He seemed very intelligent and kind. This is very sad news. My condolences to all his friends and family.
Same here, he seemed like a cool guy from what I knew of him. Its a shame we knew nothing about him emotionally. Same goes for many of us out there, if you need to talk about something just let it all out. No one can see your face here (unless you post it) and we really can't read how everyone feels. Also when ever I feel down I always think that there is at least 1 billion people out there in a far worse condition that probably are thinking the exact same thing.
 

Emporius

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RIP Operational, he used to kick my ass at the SC2 beta and we'd always joke about it after.
 

CyberPitz

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From my first post to now....still crying. I hope he can see how much he is missed, and how much we care. I will be boxing up my replays with me and op and post them here. I don't care what was up in the games, I just love him. :(

Like UBER ;(
 

Shakermaker

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Very sad news. Rest in peace, Op.

And like Adabiviak said: kudos to Tav for following up.
 

morgs

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Wow, reading this sent a shiver down my spine, it's just terrible.

R.I.P Operational.
 

Eejit

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He was one of my favourite posters here. He'll be missed.

Wherever he is, at least he can now drink the water.
 

Bad^Hat

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I don't remember him as well as I should, but still sad news. Hope his family are coping okay. :(
 
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