Message to Gabe Newell

Yahtzee

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The delays to Half Life 2: Episode 3 are getting out of control. In order to let Gabe Newell understand how serious this is and how, we, as a responsible fanbase, will give our best efforts to try to avoid it turning into Duke Nukem Forever 2: Valve Edition, I have created the following plan. Anyone who reads this and is willing to spend the 5 or so minutes necessary to participate in this cause should do the following. Write an oath and post it on this thread in the hopes that someone at Valve will see it, preferably Gabe Newell. The oath should preferrably be written with the following template:
I (Name or pseudonym here) Solemnly swear upon (Diety, religious figure, symbol, person, item, of religious or cultural significance, personal idol, etc. etc. e.g. Jesus, Allah, Zeus, The Bible, the Flag, The Qu'ran, Bob Saget, Nyarlathotep, etc. here) that if the game entitled Half Life 2: Episode 3 is not released in it's completed form by the end of the year, 2012, that I will never buy another Valve game or product again, nor do anything that would support them or their endeavers. If I am, for any reason, to break this oath, I will (Insert creatively greusome act of self harm here). Sincerely, (Name or psuedonym here)
Here is an example, as well as my contibution:

I, Yahtzee, solemnly swear upon Nyarlathotep's left testicle, that if the game entitled Half Life 2: Episode 3 is not released in it's completed form by the end of the year, 2012, I will never buy another Valve game or product again, nor do anything that would support them or their endeavers. If I am, for any reason, to break this oath, I will travel to Africa, spray myself with Rhinoceros sex hormones, and enter into a Rhinoceros habitat WITHOUT LUBE.
Sincerely, Yahtzee
(Please note that I am not in any way related to Zero Punctuation's Yahtzee of the Escapist Magazine)
 

Raziaar

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Let me go get Gabe and show him this thread.

Brb.



Oh and by the way, are you Yahtzee of Milton Bradley fame?
 

Ennui

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I get that this is a joke, but no. I'd rather pledge an oath of fealty to Valve and assure them that they have my full support to delay it as long as necessary to ensure that it's frickin' sweet like everything else they've released. EVER.
 

Kisze

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Just wait, it'll be announced at E3. They were going to announce it last year at E3, but cancelled it because they decided they were going to announce DotA 2 later and with Portal 2 and DotA 2 on the way they chose to wait with announcing EP3 (aka HL3) until after the release of Portal 2, which will happen in April, because HL3 will be so huge it would've overshadowed the other projects if it was announced during the same time as Dota 2 and Portal 2. I totally know this for fact.
 

AKIRA

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I get that this is a joke, but no. I'd rather pledge an oath of fealty to Valve and assure them that they have my full support to delay it as long as necessary to ensure that it's frickin' sweet like everything else they've released. EVER.
Agreed. I mean of course it sucks to wait years between games but you know what I and thousands of others would rather play a complete game than a rushed one you know?

I mean I just recently replayed halflife 2 and episode 1 and finished playing episode 2 for the first time and was just blown away at the awesomness that is Half Life. It's EXACTLY what I look for in a good FPS. Episode 3 will come and we will get answers, just have to be patient. :)
 

Escaep

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Your thinking is seriously flawed. Obviously you care enough about the game to come up with an idea like this and go to the extent you did to create that paragraph as well as the hopes you have for, yet if Episode 3 is not released within the year you solemnly you won't buy it nor another Valve product ever? Valve is going to release the game when they feel it will live up to the expectations of their customers (since, they are a business.) They're not going to read this thread and release the game tomorrow to make a few people happy. They probably have millions of dollars invested in Episode 3/HL3 and they're not going to risk it by selling a lackluster game. Probably a troll but w/e.
 

Krynn72

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I, Krynn72 do solemnly swear upon almighty Gabe Newell that should the game entitled Half-life Episode 3 not be released in at least Alpha form by 2012.5, that I shall never purchase a Valve product again, lest it be Portal 3 or, obviously an entry in the half life series, our perhaps a new IP altogether that happens to interest me.

Signed, with utmost determination,
Krynn72

Sorry Yahtzee, its the best I can commit to.
 

Stigmata

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I, Stigmata, do solemnly swear upon almighty 11-dimensional noodle reality, that should the game entitled Half-life Episode 3 not be released in the form of Half-Life 3, that I shall be slightly disappointed.

Signed, with love and kisses,
Stigmata
 

Bad^Hat

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So haha and everything, but one thing:

The delays to Half Life 2: Episode 3 are getting out of control.
No they're not. Unless you're talking about internal delays, in which case please forward the corporate emails my way okay thanks!
 

GreatEmperor

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Honestly i dont care about the story that much anymore and I doubt the gameplay will be all that great. as many interesting and different ideas Half Life 2 had, it felt rushed, like Sunday-paper-due-Monday-oh-shit rushed
 

DEATHMASTER

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What in the bloody hell is a Half-Life game? Is that like Russian Roulette?
 

<RJMC>

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pfffftt

complayning that episode 3 is delayed

I am the only one who remnber waiting so much for the original hl2?
 

Kadayi

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I get that this is a joke, but no. I'd rather pledge an oath of fealty to Valve and assure them that they have my full support to delay it as long as necessary to ensure that it's frickin' sweet like everything else they've released. EVER.
*cough* Counterstrike - Condition Zero *Cough*
 

ríomhaire

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I Rim-Fire Solemnly swear upon science that if the game entitled Half-Life 2: Episode Three is not released in it's completed form by the end of the year, 2012, that I will pre-order every Valve game or product anyway and I will support them and their endeavers. If I am, for any reason, to break this oath, I will not do anything. Sincerely, Rim-Fire.


*cough* Counterstrike - Condition Zero *Cough*
Started developement by Rogue who closed down and gave it to Valve, who didn't want to actually make it because they were working on TF2, who passed it on to Gearbox who eventually gave up and gave it to Ritual who remade it from scratch who dumped it on Turtle Rock who eventually finished it. Valve had very little to do with that game at all other than giving out the rights to four different companies to ****ing finish it.
 

Kadayi

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Started developement by Rogue who closed down and gave it to Valve, who didn't want to actually make it because they were working on TF2, who passed it on to Gearbox who eventually gave up and gave it to Ritual who remade it from scratch who dumped it on Turtle Rock who eventually finished it. Valve had very little to do with that game at all other than giving out the rights to four different companies to ****ing finish it.
Previously when something wasn't up to snuff they either cancelled it, or they remake it. They didn't in this case. They shoved it out as was, and it wasn't very good by any measure. This idea of Valves eternal invincibility is misplaced.
 

Stylo

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I, Stylo, solemnly swear.


... FUCKMONKEYS
 

Omnomnick

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I, Nicky 0123/Om nom nick do solemnly swear upon the all-powerful flying Spaghetti Monster that should the company entitled Valve Corporation release the video game Half-Life 2: Episode Three prematurely, thereby rushing the project; I shall never purchase a Valve product again. loljk I'll keep buying all Valve games regardless of interest to me, I'll even keep buying shit loads of merchandise.

Signed, with varying amounts of ****MONKEYS,
Nicky 0123/Om nom nick
 

No Limit

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I am having flash backs to 2003. How long was the original one delayed again?
 

Stigmata

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Previously when something wasn't up to snuff they either cancelled it, or they remake it. They didn't in this case. They shoved it out as was, and it wasn't very good by any measure. This idea of Valves eternal invincibility is misplaced.
Forgetting Blue Shift and Gunman Chronicles, and the fact that it's silly to expect Valve to outright cancel expensive projects on the basis of middling quality, are we?
 

Kadayi

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Forgetting Blue Shift and Gunman Chronicles, and the fact that it's silly to expect Valve to outright cancel expensive projects on the basis of middling quality, are we?
Gearbox made Blue Shift & Rewolf made Gunman Chronicles, Valves input in both was minimal (the weren't directing the games, merely assisting with the tech). As for cancelling, I guess you need to be reminded that Valve cancelled both of their initial titles, Quiver & Prospero (respectively) about a year into development and instead opted to make HL, combining game elements of the two (FPS & puzzle game) which of course they famously scrapped and rebuilt from scratch a year before release. Also it's my understanding TF2 went through a few 'back to formula' iterations itself. Silly Valve I guess?
 

Kadayi

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Thank **** for that
Indeed, still you'd think he'd choose a different name then, esp given his attempts at funnies ape the man's 'approach' (if you can call it that).
 

ríomhaire

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I can't believe anyone who watched one of Croshaw's (is that how you spell it, I don't remember) videos could think this was the same man.

And I think Valve scrapping another studio's game, even one under their liscence, would be quite bitchy.

As for Episode Three I don't particularly want to see a single screenshot until it's done. I'm attempting to avoid Portal 2 info right now and the less time I have to spend avoiding the temptation of looking at Episode Three the better and I certainly don't want Valve to rush it out the door. It'll be done when it's done.
 

Kadayi

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I can't believe anyone who watched one of Croshaw's (is that how you spell it, I don't remember) videos could think this was the same man.
The point is more it's a daft pseudonym to employ, given it's already in use elsewhere.

And I think Valve scrapping another studio's game, even one under their licence, would be quite bitchy.
Good design of any kind is all about scrapping things that don't work. Politeness isn't part of the equation.

I've sworn off trailers and details for Portal 2 now myself. I want to come to it with as few spoilers as possible.
 

Vegeta897

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The point is more it's a daft pseudonym to employ, given it's already in use elsewhere.
Hahaha. Yeah, because nobody had the name Yahtzee before the zeropunctuation guy. And Yahtzee totally isn't a game either.
 

Vegeta897

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Not sure if you seriously didn't detect my very strong sarcasm.
 

sixteenth

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Not sure if you seriously didn't detect my very strong sarcasm.
No, I did. I just posted that for reference. I'm betting a good amount of non-American users don't know what the hell Yahtzee is.

Plus, that commercial is hilarious.
 

Krynn72

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But what about all the speculative release dates?!?!?!
 

Stylo

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I'm betting a good amount of non-American users don't know what the hell Yahtzee is.
Given that it's sold globally and that it was invented by Canadians, I'd say you were wrong.
 
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