How to deal with ass hole hairs?

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Mogi67, Nov 6, 2013.

  1. Mogi67

    Mogi67 Companion Cube

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    last shit took me literally 14 wipes to clear, and even then theres some smears every few minutes or so and i need to return to the bathroom because i feel an itch

    whats the best way to shave ur asshole i believe that my ass hairs are trapping the last little "droplet" of my shit in, so when i think its safe to wipe all the wipe does is smear the little dingeberry and then i have to ****en mop up with 13-14 more wipes

    any advice
     
  2. kineaesth

    kineaesth Guest

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    I'd give you advice, but perhaps you want to consider altering your diet so your bowel movements don't have such a terrifyingly sticky consistency?
     
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  3. TheWiktor

    TheWiktor Party Escort Bot

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    kill yourself
     
  4. Omnomnick

    Omnomnick Retired Lead Content Creator
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    That'll work.
     
  5. Eejit

    Eejit The Freeman

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    Probably a beard trimmer type thing, I use one to keep my armpits in line.
     
  6. Stylo

    Stylo The Freeman

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    Wet wipes, dude. Wet. Wipes. They clean yo butt so much better than that toilet paper nonsense. Less wipes and less harsh on the booty for those of us who don't have golden bowel movements like Kineaesth and his perfect poops.
     
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  7. BabyHeadCrab

    BabyHeadCrab The Freeman

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  8. D-Tarded

    D-Tarded Headcrab

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    Spread your buttcheeks,that might help

    This post is just great
     
  9. kineaesth

    kineaesth Guest

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    Well, sorry I'm an inhumanly perfect shitter. Also wet wipes don't break down when you flush them, and cause a huge number of problems!

    Eejit makes a good point - you probably don't want a completely hairless butt, you just want a bit less, uh, matting. Get a cheapish electric trimmer, and try to find a length where it's short enough that you avoid these problems, but not so short that the hair is bristle-y and causes discomfort and friction. Shaving is a pretty good solution, but you'll have to maintain it, and shave every three or four days or so, otherwise the regrowth will be uncomfortably harsh. Depilatory creams work really well for some people, but you may find that you are sensitive to them and they cause burns or rashes.
     
  10. Krynn72

    Krynn72 The Freeman

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  11. MuToiD_MaN

    MuToiD_MaN The Freeman

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    Tear the hairs out by hand. That'll show them.
     
  12. Bad^Hat

    Bad^Hat The Freeman

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    If you have the spare income there are people out there who will indulge in a bit of nurse/baby roleplay if you want to roll around in diapers all day.
     
  13. Gemini

    Gemini Spy

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  14. BabyHeadCrab

    BabyHeadCrab The Freeman

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    seen videos of this shit, seems so cash
     
  15. Eejit

    Eejit The Freeman

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    In some parts of the world people use a jug they fill with water as-needed as a makeshift bidet.
     
  16. Gemini

    Gemini Spy

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    Better buy them quick Mogi. Only 9 left in the stock
     
  17. Edeslash

    Edeslash Party Escort Bot

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    why is there not a subforum for moist wipes?
     
  18. Tollbooth Willie

    Tollbooth Willie The Freeman

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    Just wipe like I do and the hairs usually come out.

    [​IMG]
     
  19. MuToiD_MaN

    MuToiD_MaN The Freeman

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    RIP poop baby ... pooped 2 hard
     
  20. MajorAjer

    MajorAjer Medic

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  21. Mogi67

    Mogi67 Companion Cube

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    lol so ****ed up
     
  22. Naph

    Naph Companion Cube

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    Those hairs create leverage between ass walls. You remove that leverage and you trap in a whole number of horrors.
     
  23. MuToiD_MaN

    MuToiD_MaN The Freeman

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    If only everyone constantly farted lube instead of growing hairs, amirite?

    EDIT: okay that's one of the worst things I've ever contributed to the Internet.
     
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  24. Eejit

    Eejit The Freeman

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    Are you... are you sure that's the word you're looking for?
     
  25. Omnomnick

    Omnomnick Retired Lead Content Creator
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    That'll work.
     
  26. Stylo

    Stylo The Freeman

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    I'd have gone with "separation" myself.
     

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