Help me halftimenet2life I have an urgent ethical dilemma

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by toaster-chan, Apr 9, 2012.

?

mouse??? live or die???????

DEAD DEAD KILL IT DEAD 9 vote(s) 31.0%
let it live, toaster-chan! it's not ready to go to home to jesus yet! 20 vote(s) 69.0%
  1. toaster-chan Party Escort Bot

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    My cat caught a mouse and then brought it into my room
    But the thing is the mouse is alive with no visible puncture wounds
    It is also now running free around my room and I don't know what to do oh no

    I mean do I let nature run its course and allow my cat to kill the poor defenseless mouse
    Or do I succumb to those all too human instincts to protect all things small & cute and trap the mouse myself so that it may live for however many more days it manages to squeeze out of its miserable disease-ridden pantry-infesting existence
    Or is it crueler to deny my cat her one true purpose on this earth as a satanic killing machine

    oh my god what do I do please inform
  2. toaster-chan Party Escort Bot

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    welp
    I now have the mouse in a box and I'm beginning to realize I did not really think this through
    like at all
    also I can't tell if the mouse is playing dead or has actually died from exhaustion so this is just really depressing now, but oh **** every once in awhile it jerks its head and scares the **** out of me

    so
    I'm thinking of just drawing a pentagram on the floor around my cat
    setting the box on its side
    walking out of the room
    closing the door behind me
    and praying the rosary until the Lord forgives me for letting my cat strongarm me into satanic rituals on Easter ****ing Sunday
  3. Vegeta897 The Freeman

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    Well I'd give my advice but you're not going to like it.

    Show Spoiler
    First, take off your socks
    Show Spoiler
    [IMG]
  4. Naph Companion Cube

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    +
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  5. toaster-chan Party Escort Bot

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    It's too late, you guys. It's too late.


    [IMG]

    [IMG]

    and i wasn't even wearing socks
  6. Member Since:
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    Every time my cats have brought in a live animal and I've tried to rescue them they've died within hours of internal bleeding.

    So, what you should do is
  7. Tollbooth Willie The Freeman

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    I approve of Satanic tendencies.
  8. morgs The Freeman

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    Fill the box with cotton wool and put it in a high place to see if the mouse comes right, if it looks like it's in pain after a while you might have to mercy kill it. If it turns out to be ok, release it outside. (when the cat isn't watching)

    That's what I'd do anyway.
  9. Raziaar I Hate Custom Titles

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    Take the mouse out someplace remote... maybe near a flood channel and release it.
  10. Acepilotf14 The Freeman

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    Your cat doesn't want to eat it, it just wants to play with it. To make it SUFFER. To be God like how you play God to the cat.

    Yeah.
  11. KiplingsCat Space Core

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    Yeah I would just leave it go. If it hasn't already died of internal bleeding, it probably isn't going to at this stage.

    This one time, my cat dragged a bat into the back yard (which is basically just a mouse with wings). For some reason, it didn't seem to be able to get out of the back yard (high walls + blindness = sad bat) so it just lay there in the corner and hissed any time we came near it. I was all like "we should release it back into the wild" but my dad was like "no no that would be cruel because it's probably going to die" but I was like "well it'll die here anyway of starvation or loneliness or something so you might as well let it die someplace where it'll be happy, like in a tree or something". I thought my option was less cruel but he wouldn't listen and I didn't want to touch the bat. So the bat died.
  12. ríomhaire Moderator

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    Just leave it go outside. Preferably a bit of a distance away from your house.
  13. <RJMC> The Freeman

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    you have painted toenails?
  14. KiplingsCat Space Core

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    Painted toenails are super.

    When I watched the Big Lebowski, I had this big phase of painting my toenails green. Most people didn't get it.
  15. morgs The Freeman

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    Wait, you don't have painted toenails?
  16. NeptuneUK Space Core

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    This thread has everything I could ever want

    6/10

    [IMG]
  17. Chris_D Administrator.

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    Just to clarify, there are "men" in here who have painted their toenails?
  18. Krynn72 The Freeman

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    Did you not see the picture of a man's toes next to the pentagram?
  19. Chris_D Administrator.

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    I lived in hope that toaster-chan was a lady with odd man-like feet.

    So is this, like, normal? Should I paint my toenails? Do I not understand this trend because I am too old?

    /me speechless
  20. toaster-chan Party Escort Bot

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    I appreciate you guys calling out for mercy for the rodent but that ****er was long dead by the time you got in the thread. Soz friends, maybe for my next urgent ethical crisis try living in a real time zone?

    As for the feet bearing painted toenails, I have to come clean: they're not actually mine but a pair of spare feet that I keep around for photos (see evidence below). I just didn't feel like taking my socksies off and getting my real feetsies cold as per Veggie's suggestion

    [IMG]
  21. Naph Companion Cube

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    Well I'm convinced, where can I buy a pair?
  22. toaster-chan Party Escort Bot

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    I dunno tbh you'd have to ask my cat, technically they're hers
  23. Raziaar I Hate Custom Titles

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    How can you expect to summon demons with such a poorly crafted pentagram? And ELECTRICAL TAPE? You can't channel evil forces with god damn electrical tape. Or is that masking tape, which is even worse? It has to be created on a bodily fluid, preferably blood, or some sort of finely ground powder, preferably bone meal!
  24. sixteenth Companion Cube

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    In order to take that picture, uou either have a laptop or massively long forearms. I'm going with the latter.
  25. Krynn72 The Freeman

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    She's holding the camera with her real feets.
  26. morgs The Freeman

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    They're pretty rare, I got mine second hand.
  27. <RJMC> The Freeman

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    oh crap I forgot toaster chan was a woman

    cuz you know that kind is rare in the internet
  28. Omnomnick Lead Content Creator

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    Thats not his real gender. It's a spare one he keeps around for photos.
  29. Chris_D Administrator.

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    Oh it is a girl... The manly feet remark...

    /me backs away slowly
  30. toaster-chan Party Escort Bot

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    Yeah I know but whenever we used to use bone meal or blood Maire would step in it with her little kitty paws and then track little bloody kitty pawprints all over the house & of course despite being the totally innocent party merely following orders, I would get the blame for it. Anyway (don't tell her I said this but) my cat isn't very good at witchcraft anyway, I mean she has this speech impediment that means she can't really pronounce the latin words very well (or any human language, for that matter) and most of the time we just end up awkwardly sitting around a pile of smouldering herbs and dripping wax candles and severed rodent heads until Maire gets up and starts meowing to be let out to use her kitty box

    Also you guys might remember something that I posted back in Ye Olden Foryme:

    And I just wanted to add to this to say that if you ever have a thought like 'gee it'd be cool to have a satan cat' you must do what you can to suppress these wicked urges lest you spend every Christian holiday with your God-forsaken (literally) cat coming into your room going 'meow meow meow' real chipper-like, real suspicious-like, in just such a way that you know she's saying 'Hey toaster-chan, did you hear the bad news? Christ is risen! But the good news is that I have the blood of an innocent all lined up in preparation, and I pinky promise it's not yours this time so long as you agree to draw the electrical tape pentagram again'

    Show Spoiler
    i can't tell you how many times i fell for that line before i realised cats don't even have pinkies


    It's okay, in today's tacitly misogynist culture even feminists like myself internalize woman-hating & male-centric standards of what is good in a human so really I just took it as a compliment when you said my feetsies were manly, it's like if you had said I had an intellect on par with a man's or something

    /me types out a forum emote so as to indicate that she is winking and giving a 'thumbs up' so that Chris_D is not so alone in using these absurd new forum commands
  31. Omnomnick Lead Content Creator

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    what is this, i don't even...
  32. Edeslash Party Escort Bot

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    Okay... that pentagram made me burst into laughter.
  33. Hectic Glenn Inexperienced Site Director

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    Your cat brought you the mouse as a gift, it's only fair and right you reciprocate
  34. KiplingsCat Space Core

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    When my cat brings us mice as gifts, we give him the gift of shouting loudly and ejecting him at speed from the front door.

    (Then we don't have to share the mouse with him).
  35. Chris_D Administrator.

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    Broken forum commands at that... You're not Raziaar... Shit.

    /me fixes

    God knows who's name that will be. Hopefully not mine, I don't like fixing things.

    EDIT: Aww swell. Looks like it's you fixing my shoddy coding toaster-chan. Let me know how you get on.
  36. Stylo The Freeman

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    * Stylo throws poo
  37. Krynn72 The Freeman

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    /me is testing out the /me command

    Why didnt it work.
  38. kineaesth Moderate

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    /me it works after you refresh
  39. Stylo The Freeman

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    /me does it really work now?

    EDIT: Hooray!
  40. Raziaar I Hate Custom Titles

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    [IMG]

    Oh man, I thought this was some strange backhanded insult directed at me for being misogynistic. That's why I work at the Girl Scouts, to exercise it!