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It's safe to say that's the silliest title I've ever had to write for this website, but fittingly so as it feels like this will also be the weirdest article yet. An update released to Team Fortress 2 earlier today has introduced some rather odd item drops in the form of bread which is randomly dispensed from Engineer Teleporters on rare occasions after being used.
The bread cannot be interacted with in any way, and will simply fall onto the ground once spawned. As such, the bread currently serves no purpose and has likely only been introduced to tease the community about an upcoming update. Given the fascination with TF2-themed alternate reality games, it seems likely that this cryptic inclusion will serve a purpose similar to that of the doves from 2011 or the crafting items from 2012.
A number of other code fragments found within the game files also hint at the potential upcoming release of numerous weapons, including a Mortar, the B.A.S.E Jumper parachute, and the previously scrapped Nailgun and Concussion grenades. Several game modes and features are also hinted at, including a "Bread Monster", a new CTF-style game mode, and much more. It remains to be seen if all of these features will be introduced sometime soon, but its looking pretty likely given their sudden inclusion into the game's code.
In case you were wondering, there are currently nine different varieties of bread, including the Baguette, some Burnt Toast, some Cinnamon Bread, Cornbread, a Crumpet, a loaf of plain white Bread, a Pretzel, a Bread Ration, and a loaf of Russian Black Bread. It is currently unknown if the types of bread directly related to any of the nine character classes, as speculated by some members of the community. The bread theme has previously appeared all throughout Team Fortress 2 media, including during Day Two of the Two Cities Update, which featured the Medic's pet bird Archimedes flying away with a pretzel stuffed comfortably in his beak, and atop some crates in the background of the Adult Swim short.
The update also introduced numerous minor changes for taunts and the Eureka Effect, which can now pick up buildings while allowing the Engineer to teleport to his teleporter exit at the cost of decreased update and repair rates. For a look at all of the changes that have been introduced in this update, check out the official changelog over on the TF2 Wiki. Get those tinfoil hats ready, it looks like we'll need them pretty soon.
Oculus, SteamVR, Half-Life 3, Dota 2, and Team Fortress 2 are all leading the crazily busy headlines this past week, so let's get caught up with the ValveTime News Round-Up for June 9th 2014!
In a new blog post to the Team Fortress 2 website, Valve are filling the update void by detailing various different weapon designs which have been scrapped in the past. After confirming that the next major update will introduce the first new weapons in well over a year, the post details three different weapon ideas, "The Big Bomb" for the Demoman, "The Facestab Knife" for the Spy, and "The Sucker" for the Pyro, all of which were scrapped for various reasons.
The Big Bomb
The Big Bomb is described as being an alternate to the Sticky Bomb Launcher which replaced "a bunch of small sticky bombs" with "one big one". While Valve don't exactly detail how the weapon worked, it sounds as if The Big Bomb was a highly obvious, easy-to-spot, "fire-and-forget" weapon which simply added worthless spam to the battlefield. Valve also notes that not a single life was lost to The Big Bomb over "countless" play tests, making it probably the least effective offensive weapon in the history of Team Fortress.
The Facestab Knife
As the name suggests, this new knife would have replaced the Spy's Knife, providing players with the ability to instantly kill an enemy from the front, rather than behind. Valve describes how the idea, which they were never remotely confident in to begin with, turned out to be just as terrible as you would imagine. The video below provides a pretty clear example of why the weapon was quickly scrapped ahead of the Manno-Technology update in 2011.
As a replacement for the Pyro's Airblast ability, The Sucker would have allowed players to gradually pull enemies towards them over a period of several seconds. While it sounds kind of neat on paper, potentially allowing Pyro's to pull opponents deeper into their flames, The Sucker apparently created several "unenjoyable gameplay issues" which unbalanced the class while also playing havoc with the movement prediction system TF2 uses during online play.
Now, as you will have assumed from the title of this news post, not every weapon detailed in the post is a terrible idea which was scrapped long ago.
The B.A.S.E. Jumper
The final weapon detailed in the post acts as a parachute for the Soldier, allowing players to remain airborne for a short period after rocket jumping. The post describes the parachute as providing strategic position benefits at the cost of maneuverability. While play testing, it turned out to be "a bunch of fun", something Valve hopes to achieve with all of the weapons in TF2.
While the joke at the end of the post isn't exactly the most serious announcement in the world, it more or less confirms that The B.A.S.E. Jumper will soon be introduced into TF2 with the next major update...just don't expect to see any of the other three weapons that were mentioned. Thankfully, they're long dead. Let's just hope the next major update for TF2 also introduces the previously teased Moonbase map.
Last week, we released a special episode of "A Minute With" as the first part of an anniversary celebration to mark eight years since the release of Half-Life 2: Episode One on June 1st 2006. Now, we're finally ready to show off "Part Two" of the celebration, so join us as we count down our Top 5 "Best Moments" from Half-Life 2: Episode One!
Got a personal Top 5 version of this list that differs from ours? We want to hear about it, so let us know in the comments below! Don't forget to subscribe to our YouTube channel and to follow us on Facebook and Twitter. Thanks for watching.
With the qualifiers for The International 2014 concluding, the Steam Controller being delayed until 2015, and extra TwitchTV connectivity being added to Counter-Strike: Global Offensive, it has certainly been a crazily busy week for Valve news. Join us as we recap each and every recent headline in the ValveTime News Round-Up for June 2nd 2014!
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